No more the thrilling stories of old
Nor entertaining, happy news
Nor the lively debates on screen
Nor jibes of so many hues
No, only robots now upon TV
All eyes upon AI
Watch out, people! You’re being brainwashed! It’s a huge fraud, say I.
You said we aren’t worth our pay
That all we spout is trash
And that wasn’t just depressing for us Oh no! It was the Crash!
And so, to cut a long story short
Let’s not call it a joke
To put it in a nutshell, ladies and gentlemen We’re all infernally broke!
Turned-out pockets – the void within
Wallets light as a feather
Our only roof the summer sky
Our only bed the heather.
Our clothes are nigh non-existent
Meals a pleasant surprise
And as for job security
The question doesn’t arise!
For, you see, we have no job
We are, in a word, unemployed
An occasional grumble from our tummies’ depths Reminds us of their void.
A robot may walk and run and play
It may hear or speak or see
But always remember – human’s a thing A robot can never be.
You complained our views are coloured That money’s always behind ’em
But, you see, if robots had views
You’d be hard put to find ’em.
We’re far better than them, you know Smarter and louder and keener
And you’ll realise that grass
On the other side’s always greener.
A dull drone is all they spout
Right from morning to evening
With no emotion or expression:
Together silent and deafening.
You can’t put up with them, you see
They just don’t have the knack
One day you’ll have enough of them
And then you’ll call us back!
The good, old-fashioned anchors return
To their pre-eminent position
And it’s lucky for you that to forgive
Is in their disposition.
The robots may be now in fashion
They seem the current trend-setter
Thanks to their unbiased views – though
You’d like the biased ones better.
So bid the robots adieu, people!
Wish ’em luck and say “So long!”
Put in your order for a farewell bouquet
Because we shan’t be long.